💆🏾‍♀️“A Nervous System’s Guide to Receiving”

Let’s be honest—receiving sounds easy on paper. Someone offers you a compliment, a back rub, attention, or, let’s be real, something far steamier… and you just accept it, right?

Except… sometimes your nervous system is like that overly suspicious friend in a rom-com: “Why are they giving us this? What do they want in return?”

Step 1: Check your antennae (aka your vagus nerve)

Your vagus nerve is like your body’s gossip line, passing messages between your brain and your body. When it’s chill, you’re chill. When it’s on edge, you could be in a silk robe with a glass of champagne and still feel like you’ve left the stove on.

Pro tip: Try humming, sighing, or slow breathing—basically, convince your vagus nerve you’re safe so it stops acting like you’re on Elms Street.

Step 2: Identify your “receiver block”

Do you:

• Change the subject when someone compliments you?

• Pretend you didn’t hear the offer so you can avoid saying yes?

• Feel compelled to give something back immediately, like a human vending machine?

These are signs your nervous system thinks receiving is dangerous territory. It’s like an overprotective chaperone that’s still stuck in the Victorian era.

Step 3: Start small (like, pea-small)

Don’t start with “receive a diamond necklace from a stranger on a yacht” (unless… call me). Start with letting someone hold the door for you without you sprinting to get there first. Or accept that coffee your coworker offers without going into a TED Talk about how you owe them forever.

Your nervous system needs low-stakes practice, like training a rescue cat to trust a new home.

Step 4: Let it land

When you do receive something—pause. Feel it. Let it marinate. If someone says, “You look amazing,” instead of saying, “Oh this old thing?” try “Thank you” and breathe. You’re not just receiving the words, you’re letting your body experience the safety of being given to.

Step 5: Don’t rush to reciprocate

If receiving is a gift, rushing to give back right away is like opening a present and then immediately shoving it back in the giver’s hands. Let yourself have it for a while. You can always give later—your nervous system needs to learn that a gift can exist without a debt.

Final word:

Receiving is an embodied skill. It’s not just “saying yes”—it’s letting your body register, “I am safe, worthy, and allowed to be cared for.” And yes, your nervous system might throw a little tantrum at first, but with time (and maybe a glass of wine), it’ll learn to unclench and let the good in.