XXIX. “Strong Enough to Feel”

Why openness is no longer weakness—and never actually was.

For a long time, strength looked like armor.

It looked like silence.

Self-sufficiency.

Endurance.

Handling everything without flinching.

Needing nothing.

Asking for nothing.

Feeling everything—but showing none of it.

That version of strength was survival. And survival served its purpose. But healing asks for a different kind of power.

Vulnerability Isn’t Exposure—It’s Precision

Vulnerability is often misunderstood as oversharing, collapsing, or bleeding everywhere.

It’s not.

Real vulnerability is intentional. It’s knowing what to share, when to share it, and with whom. It’s naming what’s true without dramatizing it. It’s expressing need without apology. It’s staying present instead of disappearing when things get uncomfortable.

That’s not weakness. That’s emotional intelligence.

Strength Used to Mean Self-Abandonment

If you grew up in an environment where:

• emotions weren’t welcomed

• needs were dismissed

• conflict felt dangerous

• silence was safer than truth

Then vulnerability felt risky.

Strength meant staying quiet.

Strength meant adapting.

Strength meant being “low maintenance.”

Strength meant not rocking the boat.

But that kind of strength came at a cost. It required you to leave yourself behind.

Vulnerability Is Strength Because It Requires Regulation

Anyone can shut down.

Anyone can lash out.

Anyone can disappear.

Vulnerability asks you to do something harder:

Stay. Stay in your body. Stay in the conversation. Stay connected to yourself while connecting to someone else. Stay grounded while being seen.

That takes nervous system regulation.

That takes awareness.

That takes courage.

Vulnerability isn’t emotional chaos. It’s emotional presence.

Vulnerability Ends the Cycle of Guessing

When you choose vulnerability, you stop playing emotional games.

You stop hinting.

You stop testing.

You stop withholding.

You stop hoping someone will “just know.”

You speak.

You clarify.

You name needs early instead of resenting later. You express discomfort before it turns into distance. You ask for repair instead of storing pain.

That clarity protects your energy. It doesn’t drain it.

Being Vulnerable Filters Who Can Actually Meet You

Here’s the quiet truth:

Vulnerability doesn’t push the right people away. It reveals who can’t meet you where you are.

People who benefit from your silence will resist your honesty.

People who relied on your endurance will struggle with your needs.

People who preferred your emotional labor will feel exposed by your boundaries.

That’s not your loss. That’s information. Vulnerability is a filter, not a flaw.

Vulnerability With Yourself Comes First

Before vulnerability becomes relational, it’s internal.

It’s telling yourself the truth:

✨ I’m tired.

✨ This hurts.

✨ I need help.

✨ I’m overwhelmed.

✨ I don’t want this anymore.

Without shaming yourself for feeling it.

Without minimizing it.

Without rushing to fix it.

Self-honesty is the foundation. You can’t be vulnerable with others if you’re still lying to yourself.

Vulnerability Builds Real Safety—Not Conditional Love

The love that requires you to be quiet, agreeable, or unbothered isn’t safety.

Safety is:

• being honest without punishment

• expressing emotion without ridicule

• needing support without guilt

• disagreeing without abandonment

• repairing without power struggles

Vulnerability creates that kind of safety. Not because it guarantees everyone will stay but because it guarantees you will.

This Is the Strength of the Healed Woman

The healed woman isn’t hardened. She’s clear.

She doesn’t overexplain, but she doesn’t disappear.

She doesn’t overshare, but she doesn’t hide.

She doesn’t demand perfection, but she requires presence.

She doesn’t weaponize vulnerability—but she doesn’t withhold it either.

Her strength is flexible.

Responsive.

Alive.

She knows vulnerability isn’t the opposite of power. It’s the evolution of it.

Vulnerability Is How You Stay Whole

You don’t heal by becoming untouchable.

You heal by becoming reachable—to yourself first, then to others.

Vulnerability isn’t about being exposed to harm. It’s about no longer harming yourself by pretending you don’t feel.

And that?

That’s the strongest thing you’ll ever do.